10:26 a.m. - 2005-07-07
Happy 7th of July
I�m confused. Is �tagging� people the �new black�? Cause I missed that memo.
In an all out effort to be creative, I�ve decided to update. It�s difficult though considering my work load:
1. Showing up for work
2. Actually working
3. Studying 65-70 pages of Biology every evening until next Thursday
4. Writing, rewriting and yet writing again a 15 page research paper on Kate Chopin and her views on women and how they apply to society today.
All four are the most boring tasks ever. I also start an Art History class this weekend which is from 2pm to 6pm every Saturday and Sunday for the next 5 weeks.
No, I�m not sure what I was thinking either.
So, in an attempt to be creative, or interesting, or knowledgeable or�whatever�I�m updating.
But what to update about? I have no major issues going on in life except the ones of my own making (READ: above). I have nothing of great importance to complain about, share about or dissect and analyze.
I got nothin� people.
Yep. I have everything right with the world. I have all my ducks in a row. I have all my chips in the pile. I have a surplus of bad analogies. Everything is good.
Except maybe�well, not so much �not good�, but more �Huh. I hadn�t realized that.�
Last night we went to the Boyfriend�s sister�s birthday party. There were about 20 of us there at the restaurant. These are people I see on an occasional basis, as I am A)Anti-social in that I like my time to myself rather than having coffee with you and B)lacking in time as I enjoy to spend it with the boyfriend right after I spend it with myself. That being said, I enjoy all these people immensely. There isn�t one from the same culture or country. Everyone brings something totally different to conversations, senses of humor and points of view. I really like our friends and like even more that we aren�t expected to see them all the fucking time. We can all pick up where we left off. I love that.
Then it occurred to me that the only reason I know these people is because of the Boyfriend and his sister. I realized that I have somehow, yet again, been put in the game of �Who Gets To Keep The Friends�. I hate this game. If something ever happened where we broke up, I couldn�t help but wonder who would stay in touch with me. As I glanced around the table from face to face, I tried to pick out whose side they�d be on.
Because if experience has taught me anything, it�s that people can�t help but pick sides. It is in our very nature to point fingers, or at the very least, avoid the war.
This seems unfair to me. I was suddenly angry! I can�t believe that these people would be out of my life. I can�t believe that they would just choose him over me! How dare they!
Then I remembered that one of the people there was the ex-boyfriend of the girl from a few entries back that I told you about. Notice how lazy I am to not link. They finally broke up, to the relief of everyone, and here he was joining us, and she was out of the loop like a bad hang over.
I was guilty of the very thing I was just getting pissed at.
Can you believe I could be so hypocritical? Me neither.
I wonder if most people realize that if they break up, they aren�t just losing a spouse/significant other. I wonder...
