10:42 a.m. - 2005-07-08
You've Got Some Pumpkin' On Your Mouth
What�s with cheaters lately? Are they like, all over the fucking place, or what??
Many times throughout my life as well as most of your own, people have wondered and tried to consider what the meaning of cheating is exactly. What constitutes cheating?
If the person doesn�t know�is it cheating?
If the person deserves it, or asked for it�is it cheating?
If the person who is doing the cheating continues to love the partner just as much�is it cheating?
I�m here today to clear up some of these riddles.
First and most important, there are always three to four people in the game of cheating. We�ll start with the three person scenario, as that seems to be rampant in some of the diaries I am reading lately�
If you are the person in a relationship who is cheating on the spouse/signifigant other/lover:
Shame on you. No really. Shame. On. You. If you even have to ask yourself any of the above questions to see if you�re REALLY cheating or not, then its pretty fucking safe to say that you are. If you ever have to question whether any behavior or action you are doing with someone other than your spouse/SO/lover would be considered cheating, then here�s a big fat news flash: You Are. You big fat fucking loser cheater cheater pumpkin eater. I don�t care what the excuses are, what the reasons are, what your lack of reasoning tells you. If you have to find solace, love, sex, talking, WHATEVER, with anyone else other than your spouse/SO/lover, then you are a cheater and you should just break up and stop being a big wussy wuss pussy.
If you are the person who is involved with the married/tied up/taken individual:
Shame on you. No really. Shame. On. You. Too. You are now contributing to hurting someone that you don�t even know. Any and all stories you�ve heard about this person that you are blindly stabbing in the back are completely one sided and biased. Isn�t it possible that your lover exaggerates things about his/her spouse to ease the guilt? You have taken someone�s word ( a big fat fucking cheater mind you) and jumped into helping seal the envelope on a life long worry and doubt for the spouse. Good job. Great going. I won�t even mention how you will always wonder if it is being done to you in the future. I won�t even mention that while Instant Karma of having that done to you sucks, it sucks even harder when you really never know for sure.
If you are the person who is the spouse/SO/lover who is being cheated on:
I am so so so sorry. No matter what you may have done to �drive� this person away, no matter what fault you have had in the downfall of this relationship, you are literally absolved of all guilt. No matter what you�ve done (aside from cheating), you do not deserve this. My sympathies. It will take years for you to get over this, and even then, not completely.
For a four person scenario:
All is the same except for the person who is the spouse/SO/lover who is being cheated on. Because now there�s two of them.
I hope I�ve cleared things up for everyone. Remember, if you have to ask if internet porn is cheating�if you have to ask whether chatting online is cheating�if you have to ask whether giving that guy head in the back of the cab where no one will find out is cheating�then consider it a big fat fucking yes.
