2:16 p.m. - 2005-03-23
Memoir
Boyfriend #2 AKA What Was I Thinking?
I remember meeting Doug through a friend of a friend. He was part of skater group. Back when skater groups were new and shit. When Vans weren�t a giant conglomerate mess. Back when �alternative� music was exactly that.
We hooked up at someone�s house. I was 16 and he was 2 years older. He was out of high school, not that he ever graduated. He had a baby from another girl and the girl was a hard core Mexican. Doug was a wanna-be gansta. Yep. Back when a white boy gansta-wannabe was still unheard of.
I guess it was like dating Vanilla Ice. Only without the money.
I don�t recall much of the two years we were together. I remember running into his ex a few times. She actually wanted to throw down. I remember we played tennis a helluva lot for some reason. I remember that I was glad to have someone to spend my spare time with cause I had no friends in high school. I simply did not fit into any of the cliques.
I remember he lost job after job after job and ended up using my car during the day while I went to school. I remember thinking then that I was stupid.
I remember we went to my prom together and that he was only 5�9. I remember feeling like an ass standing next to him. I remember thinking he was an ass.
I remember my ENTIRE family hated him, but my grandparents were nice enough to buy a kitchen knife from him when he began selling those as a full time job. My grandmother will still occasionally mention that she has that knife and it still works pretty good.
I remember that after he got kicked out of his parent�s house, he slept at my house at night while my dad was unaware. I would leave the front door slightly ajar and he would wait outside till about 11 or so. Way past my dad�s bedtime after 7 gin and tonics. Doug would creep in my room and sleep on the floor next to my bed. I have no idea or memory as to how long that went on�
After I graduated, I received about $1000 from the family to start a new life. I packed up my car and drove to Eureka California to live close to my mom. I remember Doug was right there with me helping me spend my money.
I remember that he stole a cubic z ring from a store and proposed to me outside in the parking lot. I remember saying yes cause I didn�t know what else to say. I also remember thinking that there was no way I was gonna spend the rest of my life with this loser.
We spent 6 months living together up north. It was horrible. No fun in any way. I had no idea how to break up with him because of how far I had let it go. I finally worked up the courage and he made me feel horrible. He went and withdrew all our money from our bank and caught the next plane to L.A. I called a few days later and his mother told me he had gotten married to the baby�s mother.
I remember I felt relieved.
Then I got the phone bill and saw that he made over $500 in 1-900 calls.
I also remember I found out I was pregnant. Woohoo. Dealt with that (see previous entries) and moved on.
I look back at the ages 16 to 18 as a blur of self doubt, insecurity, and waste. I am so glad to be past that.
The only heartbreak I suffered was realizing how much time I wasted.
Tomorrow (or the day after): Boyfriend #3 The Whirlwind
