8:50 a.m. - 2005-04-08
I Need A Secretary For All These Letters
I bought two tickets to Miami today. I'm torn between being excited about seeing hot guys at the beach, and fearful of being in a hurricane. We leave in June, so I'm sure I'll mention it several more times before then.
I'm also going to Mexico aka Rocky Point aka WhiteFolksAllowedLand in May.
And those are my two exciting vacations for the year. I'm ready for Christmas.
Here's a few letters I've been meaning to send:
Dear Co-worker Barry,
I'm glad that you take such joy in hauling ass down the hallways in your supe'd out wheelchair. I've never seen anything go that fucking fast. But dude, please get a horn or something.
Love,
The girl you ran over this morning.
Dear Pope,
RIP dude.
-Non Catholic
Dear Pete,
Keep pissing people off. It's funny.
-Mental
Dear HRT,
Dude. WTF? Where are you?
-Mental
Dear American Airlines,
You guys rip everyone off don't you?
-A reluctant customer
Dear Payless,
Your shoes fucking suck. And I don't have BOGO on the brain.
-A concerned consumer
Dear Dad,
When are you gonna buy me my new car?
-Your only daughter (that we know of).
