4:03 p.m. - 2004-07-15
Dave Letterman Is On Too Late
How I Know I'm Getting Old (at 30)
I can�t wait to try the new fish platter at Red Lobster.
I�m collecting rocks now. For my porch. I don�t know why. I don�t have a porch.
I chain smoke. Not because I�m drunk and cool. Because I�m addicted and have to.
I wore socks with my flip flops to the store last night AND DIDN�T CARE.
I have to call in sick the next day after a binge night of Tuesday drinking. I can no longer recover from a hangover with a cold shower and a cup of coffee. I have to nurse it baby.
I�m thinking about my retirement. Why?
I looked at an old woman�s bright orange Keds the other day and thought �those are cute�. Shoot me please.
I heard myself uttering �Could you turn that damn music down?�
My dream is to not ever have to do my hair again. I want to go to a hairdresser once a week and then not wash it until I went again the following week. I�d sleep with a plastic bag on my hair so I wouldn�t mess it up.
I seem to be using the �What�s up kiddo?� greeting a lot lately.
I find peppermints in my pockets constantly. I will hand them out at random.
I�m tired at 10pm.
I can feel the hours of my life slipping slowly into eternity at work. Oh wait. I always felt that. Nothing new there.
I have three cats. Beware the creepy old cat lady.
I talk to my cats like they�re people. I would dress them in cute sweaters if they�d let me. Which they won�t. Cause they know they aren�t gay.
