12:48 p.m. - 2004-06-23
We Will Starve
Left To Our Own Devices
Today is a special day for me and the man in my life, herein referred to as MainMan. Currently, like myself but for much sounder reasons, he lives with his mother and sister. This being said, you can see how �alone� time is a foreign and much desired concept for us. Well today is the day that we get to walk around naked my friends. The ma and sis are leaving for TWO WHOLE DAYS. Oh my sweet Jesus on a bike. I am so happy at the thought of being able to lounge on the couch together. So what that it�s a small couch and we�ll get tired of fighting for space within minutes. The point is we get to dammit. With all the planning of how we will relish in this time of unadulterated bliss, it occurred to me that we will have to eat at some point.
He�s an adult man from the �Mid-East� who has had his mother cooking for him every day of his life. He therefore doesn�t know how to boil water.
I am a middle-class (sure) white-bread American woman in her thirties. It has never occurred to me to boil water.
Our past getaways have left us to our own devices in food. I present the following examples of how this was discovered.
Me: Wow, this is great. I love the Grand Canyon. How wonderful that we are all alone in this huge, yet expensive suite, complete with a kitchen. Good thinking. We�ll save tons on food by eating here. So what are you making?
MainMan: Making? Like what? You want I should build a fire in the fireplace?
Me: Um no. I mean to eat. I�m hungry.
MainMan: Me too. But I thought you cook while I go do something manly. Like chop wood.
Me: Wow. We are so screwed.
Or a few weeks later�.
Me: Wow, this getaway to the resort here in town is the best idea we�ve had yet. I�m hungry. What should we�..oh shit.
MainMan: (shakes head sadly at the fact that he is dating the only American girl who can�t/won�t cook.)
So what to do today and tomorrow? I suppose we could just not eat. That�s an option. Shouldn�t our love be enough to sustain us???!!!
No? Okay, then there�s take out. After all, my motto is �Buy It� while his is �Have Someone Else Make It�.
I can see there may be issues about this in the future.
