1:05 p.m. - 2004-06-01
So Very Hung Over. Oh So Very.
You know those large plastic pseudo-floors that fit under your chair at work so that you can slide to an fro over the carpet with ease? My tongue feels like I spent the entire evening licking one.
Last night I had to go pick up my mom from the airport. She spent the weekend seeing her first husband (Mr. first of four)whom she hadn't seen in close to 30 years. I actually found him for her several months back in a desperate attempt to rekindle their love so that she can be taken care of in her old age. I wake up often in the middle of the night with the worry of her retirement making me sweat. He was apparently a terrific guy, the "one" if you will. Anxious to hear how it went, we went out to dinner where instead of actually eating, we were side tracked by four apple martini's. Each.
I'm sure she had a great time, but frankly, I don't remember. I DO remember that when we got home, the local drunken neighbor was beating the living shit out of his wife, so we had to sober up real quick. He was doing it right outside in the open, so I said what the hell and hopped in the car while my mom got on the horn to the police. Now, I'm no fan of the po-lice. In fact, only two things in this world give me the willies and cops is one of them.
The other is midget porn, which is really really weird looking.
I didn't go on their property, just close enough to the driveway so that they/he could see that I knew what was going on and hopefully he would stop. Would you believe that the little prick had the audacity to march over to MY car window, bang on MY glass, and tell ME to mind my own fucking business or he'd kill me, all the while in his fucking underwear. Damn idiot couldn't even have the decency to put pants on before beatin' the woman he loves. Goddamn hicks.
Well, it appeared as though my well thought out plan had had an effect and feeling that I had really scared the poo out of him, I decided to go back to my drive way to make sure my ma had called the police. They were definitely in need now. Mind you, the little bastard had gone back to his beating. I had to sober up fast since I had to make some kind of sense when talking to the fuzz. Some senseless car chases and a few more hours later, the guy apologized (through the cops) and the girl forgave him (well, at least I gave her a chance to press charges) and I was able to go to bed around 1:00am (waaaaaayyyy past my allowable bedtime). I woke up at 5:30am to get going on the day.
My eyes are swollen and they feel like someone is constantly blowing air in them. My stomach is churning on the sticky sweetness of those hellish apples, and my thought process is like sludge. Oh yeah, and the tongue. We already covered that though.
I...will....make....it....through...the....day....
