11:41 a.m. - 2004-11-11
To My Fans Far and Wide (read: you two guys)
I put off updating as long as I could. If my mom hasn�t stopped by yet (read: Non computer savvy) then she�s gonna have to learn to use the �Old Entries� button. It�s to the left mom.
Much thanks to everyone who said hi. You�re all a bunch of kiss-asses. Now move forward in life knowing you will go far due to your suck up ways. I know I have.
Actually, I was quite touched at how many actually did what I said to do. I was drunk with power, so thank you.
In recent news, I recently went to a job interview and I�m still waiting to hear back. And waiting. And fucking waiting. But I�ll wait with pleasure.
Apparently though, I have issues with �waiting� that I didn�t know I had. So I took some time to review my patience level on things and scenarios.
I noticed I have no patience while sitting in traffic but I can easily spend 15 minutes waiting in the left hand turn lane during normal hours, where traffic still exists. Why? I have no answer for this. Must be a time continuum thing.
I can�t stand waiting for the last 10 seconds on the microwave for anything (I don�t have all second you know), but will wait until I hear a good 5-6 seconds between the last kernels popping in a bag of microwave popcorn. Perhaps if every possible kernel doesn�t get popped, then I feel like I�m not getting my money�s worth?
I detest waiting for help at a counter in a store, but can wait eons for the shoe salesman to bring me my size. Check every damn shelf pal, I can wait.
I can wait for my coffee to cool down, but God forbid I give the pizza 30 seconds to stop bubbling. Then I spend the evening cussing at my blisters on the roof of my mouth. This continues on through the next day.
These things are mind boggling to me.
In other news, it�s been pointed out to me by the boyfriend that I don�t care about my job. At hearing this breakthrough news, I quickly drew a huge star on a piece of paper for him and awarded him the �Obvious Man� award of the day. Then I had to define what obvious meant. Cause you know, foreigner and all.
After that, I had to define sarcasm. Cause you know, me and all.
I am still planning on posting some pics from the new cam, I�m just very busy lately (read: Lazy). I promise to get to it soon. There�s one really good one of the two of us, which I don�t remember taking, cause you know, drunk and all. But it both pleased me and surprised me at how photogenic I am while 4 sheets to the wind.
Does anyone actually know what that phrase means or where it came from? Cause not knowing makes defining it for a foreigner really fucking hard. I have to get creative in my explanations:
Him: What do �two sheets to the wind� mean? I don't get it. What that means?
Me: When you�re drunk, it�s state law that you wrap yourself up in two sheets before passing out so that when you break wind during the night you�re forced to suffocate yourself. It�s penance for getting drunk.
Him: Oh. Good to know. What does penance mean?
Me: You know what 'break wind' means but not penance? Interesting.
