10:32 a.m. - 2004-11-04
Apparently, I Have To
I�m touching on something today that may shock people. So much is being covered about politics, abortion, stem cell research. I thought I would discuss what I believe to be the biggest crutch in America today. I ask that you reserve your opinions to kind criticisms only�.I�ll give you a few moments to prepare yourselves�.
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Today�s topic is TIPPING 101.
This is about gratuity on things/services you buy. Not about cows. I thought I should clear that up now.
I ordered a pizza on Thursday. I ordered the Four For All, cause I�m a fan of four areas of a pizza being all about me. I also ordered a liter of Sprite. When the delivery girl showed up, the liter was on the ticket, but she forgot to bring it. She was apologetic, and offered to go back. I said no, cause it happens to us all, forgetting shit, and if she drove back for that, the rest of her orders would be late. No problem. However when the bill came to $15 sans liter, I gave her a twenty and she had the audacity to ask me how much I wanted back for change.
There�s so many things wrong with this, I�m not sure where to begin.
First, it�s my fucking change and instead of ASKING me if I want it all back, how about you just GIVE it to me and I�ll decide what to do with it after that.
Second, she, as many people out there do nowadays, has the automatic assumption that service does not equal tip. Showing up at my door at some point with at least half my order apparently equals tip.
Do you know how I handled this? I actually tipped her. When I closed the door, I turned around to the boyfriend and said �Why in the fuck did I just do that?�.
That simple habit of tipping has taught her that she only needs to perform half assed and she will still get rewarded. I can�t tell you how pissed at myself I was for the rest of the evening. Even when I ran out to the Circle K to get some Sprite. I cussed the whole way there, and the whole way back. And no one tipped me when I got back to the house with the Sprite.
The boyfriend delivered pizza for awhile and therefore has strong feelings about the tipping rule. His view is that you get paid less than minimum wage and you should always tip cause it�s hard work. My view is that they choose that profession and I don�t have to tip if the service sucks. Sucks, meaning, showing up super late, missing some of my order, or generally rude. This goes for waitresses too. If my coffee cup ain�t brimming with Joe at all times, or I have to look for her for something, then the tip is minimal at best. I can�t argue with him though, it�s just bred into him. He even leaves a few dollars for the maids when leave the Super 8 motel. Helllllllllooooooo? It�s their JOB.
I was amused to see that most people I asked about this topic were avid tippers. Like it�s the eleventh commandment or something. It appalled them that I would even consider accepting a delivery without tipping. They would say things like, �well if the service was REALLY bad, then I wouldn�t tip�. This makes no sense to me when I�m taking a cab for $2.25 per mile and then I�m expected to tip the guy cause he got me there in a timely manner. What would constitute bad service here? Him going 30 in a 65 zone? He got me there like he was supposed to. That�s his fucking job. I don�t get tipped for doing my job. Maybe I should lobby for that. Every time I answer the phone���
�XXXXXX Office, this is Melissa�.
�I�d like to speak with XXXX�.
�Okay, I�ll transfer you. Right after you tip me�.
