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3:40 p.m. - 2004-10-06
Super Short, Like All My Ex-Boyfriends
I am like the ant. Except for the saving for winter thing. Or the lifting thing. Or the ugly thing. Not to toot my own horn (insert bull horn), but I ain�t ugly like an ant. I am however, determined like an ant. I wasn�t aware of this until my recent experiment with our friendly neighborhood critters. While walking from car to the door to the office/house/pit of hell, I noticed a HUGE mound of dirt. With an itty bitty hole in the top. The next day while walking (cause I like to exercise) back from smoke break, I see the hole is bigger. Much bigger. I then peer down into it only to find THEBIGGESTFUCKINGANT ever crawling out. �Huh.� I say to myself. I glance around and see a cigarette butt (most likely from those inconsiderate smokers) and pick it up. I shove it in the hole. I promptly walk away thinking I have yet again saved the world from mass destruction.

The next day, the cigarette butt has angrily ( I assume) been pushed out of the hole. �Huh.� I say again to myself. I spy a good size pebble/rock and set it on top of the hole. As you can imagine, it�s been removed the next day. I go inside the office, grab a useful office tool, a golf ball, and shove it in the hole (that�s what he said) and proceed to sit and wait. Can you believe that they were digging out of the hole AROUND it and coming up to the golf ball and pushing aside from up top, rather than from underneath it as I had thought they were doing it? Each day when they were presented with a blockage of mass proportions, and probably knew each day that one would occur, they took the difficult route of finding another way out of the problem, just to unblock it, and crawl back in the same problem for tomorrow.

That. Is. Me. Paul is the Walrus. I am the Ant.

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In an unrelated story that is totally unrelated:

I handed a fax cover sheet that I did on Word to my boss. He said, �We have a new cover sheet??!! This looks great!� I replied with, �We�ve had that for 2 years. But thanks for noticing my effort around here�.

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So I�m walking from my car to my new front door and see that�s it�s a little spooky at night. I�m like, �Whoa! You know, if like, Vampires just jumped out right now at me, I have absolutely no kick ass kickboxing moves to thwart them.� So I signed up for kickboxing. Just like that. Let the fun and pulled hamstrings ensue!!!

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Not short at all, like my current boyfriend.

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