1:51 p.m. - 2004-10-04
Compilation of Limited Knowledge
Here�s my day so far. Tell me if it�s like yours at all�
6am: Get up and say WTF about 10 times. I am so disoriented when I wake up.
7am: Feel depressed after watching the morning news. Drink coffee, get in shower and realize I have to now hurry for work cause I pretty much just wasted an hour.
8am: Arrive at work and say WTF to myself a few more times when I see that I must spend yet another day with a man who wears flip flops to work. I must hear the SMACK SMACK SMACK of his feet all damn day.
8:10am: Check local paper online for any open jobs.
9am: Begin saying to myself that I should probably get some work done. Seriously.
9:15am: Begin playing a wicked good game of speed marble. Which you can find here. Just kidding. Wouldn't want you to go around wasting time at work.
11am: Wonder what other games I can find on the web that I haven�t tapped into yet. Blink a few times as I realize I�ve been staring at marbles too long and my eyes have dried out.
Noon: Go home and meet with boyfriend for a nooner. That�s what I�m talkin� �bout Willis.
1pm: Realize I REALLY need to get some work done. Man, where did all this shit come from? I can�t even see my desk. Oh crap�some of it is really important.
1:15pm: Begin catching up on diary land entries.
1:30pm: Begin typing this stupid letter that you�ll have the pleasure of seeing below.
1:45pm: Begin typing entry for diary land.
It�ll be 5pm before ya know it.
I had to transcribe some stupid letter for work today. It was the most boring thing I�ve ever had to read. I feel compelled to share it with you and make you suffer what I did. But I�ll only give you a snip-it. There were 6 pages of this drivel to type and towards the end I was so mind numbingly bored that I began typing my thoughts. That�s always a dangerous thing to do.
*A compilation is limited to presenting in the form of financial statements information that is the representation of management. Wow. I am so utterly confused as to what I�m actually typing that I find it hard to believe that you�ll even be able to understand what it is I�m trying to convey here. We have not audited or reviewed the accompanying financial statements and, accordingly, do not express an opinion or any other form of assurance on them. So basically, we�re just winging it. We�re just randomly taking your numbers and mixing them around and seeing what we get. I could have had an opinion about it, but it�s not in my job description. The financial statements have been prepared in the accounting basis used by the company for financial reporting purposes which is on the accrual method of accounting-percentage of completion. Whatever that means. If you get it, give me a call and let me know.
And that�s what the letter ended up looking like. I found it humorous, but then forgot to go back and edit my own words. My boss did not find this version as nearly as funny as I did. What a fuck.
On a lighter note, here�s something you may not have been aware of: Parties + relationships + large amounts of alcohol = a bad bad bad evening and a bad bad bad hangover.
We weren�t the only couple who argued after that party. But we are apparently the only one who has made up with each other. He admitted he was a complete and total jackass (my words) and I forgave him. See how easy that is? The others who had the misfortune of just a bad fucking evening are still calling me to cry about it. It�s sad. I mean, why aren�t they able to just force the boyfriend to say what needs to be said to make up?
But I jest.
Not really.
I mean, shit�.I even got flowers out of it.
