10:26 a.m. - 2005-07-07
Happy 7th of July
I’m confused. Is “tagging” people the “new black”? Cause I missed that memo.
In an all out effort to be creative, I’ve decided to update. It’s difficult though considering my work load:
1. Showing up for work
2. Actually working
3. Studying 65-70 pages of Biology every evening until next Thursday
4. Writing, rewriting and yet writing again a 15 page research paper on Kate Chopin and her views on women and how they apply to society today.
All four are the most boring tasks ever. I also start an Art History class this weekend which is from 2pm to 6pm every Saturday and Sunday for the next 5 weeks.
No, I’m not sure what I was thinking either.
So, in an attempt to be creative, or interesting, or knowledgeable or…whatever…I’m updating.
But what to update about? I have no major issues going on in life except the ones of my own making (READ: above). I have nothing of great importance to complain about, share about or dissect and analyze.
I got nothin’ people.
Yep. I have everything right with the world. I have all my ducks in a row. I have all my chips in the pile. I have a surplus of bad analogies. Everything is good.
Except maybe…well, not so much “not good”, but more “Huh. I hadn’t realized that.”
Last night we went to the Boyfriend’s sister’s birthday party. There were about 20 of us there at the restaurant. These are people I see on an occasional basis, as I am A)Anti-social in that I like my time to myself rather than having coffee with you and B)lacking in time as I enjoy to spend it with the boyfriend right after I spend it with myself. That being said, I enjoy all these people immensely. There isn’t one from the same culture or country. Everyone brings something totally different to conversations, senses of humor and points of view. I really like our friends and like even more that we aren’t expected to see them all the fucking time. We can all pick up where we left off. I love that.
Then it occurred to me that the only reason I know these people is because of the Boyfriend and his sister. I realized that I have somehow, yet again, been put in the game of “Who Gets To Keep The Friends”. I hate this game. If something ever happened where we broke up, I couldn’t help but wonder who would stay in touch with me. As I glanced around the table from face to face, I tried to pick out whose side they’d be on.
Because if experience has taught me anything, it’s that people can’t help but pick sides. It is in our very nature to point fingers, or at the very least, avoid the war.
This seems unfair to me. I was suddenly angry! I can’t believe that these people would be out of my life. I can’t believe that they would just choose him over me! How dare they!
Then I remembered that one of the people there was the ex-boyfriend of the girl from a few entries back that I told you about. Notice how lazy I am to not link. They finally broke up, to the relief of everyone, and here he was joining us, and she was out of the loop like a bad hang over.
I was guilty of the very thing I was just getting pissed at.
Can you believe I could be so hypocritical? Me neither.
I wonder if most people realize that if they break up, they aren’t just losing a spouse/significant other. I wonder...
