9:54 a.m. - 2005-05-05
RIP my dear old Plymouth
So much to update on. But not really.
I don't know if I've ever mentioned my car before, but I'll risk repeating myself.
My car is the biggest piece of horseshit on this side of the Mississippi. It's a '92 Plymouth Acclaim and some it's fancier features include:
-A driver's side window that needs the assistance of my hand to roll up properly. This enhances the vehicles appearance by giving it a lovely collage of fingerprints.
-A suicidal cigerette lighter that ejects itself with so much force that it hits the back windshield. I have become a master at catching it mid-air.
-A radio that requires a chant, prayer and a promise of eternal love before it will turn on. It will only turn on during Madonna songs though.
-A breathtaking painting of spilled coke all over the carpet.
-An unwillingness to accelerate over 45 mph.
Because of these traits, you can imagine how hard it was for me to give it up. But give it up I did. Today I am a proud owner of 2000 Jetta. It's so well cared for, that it doesn't even look like anyone has been driving it. It has power everything (windows too imagine that!!!), a KICKASS moonroof, a stereo that rocks my world, a five speeds of fun.
I am so happy I could shit.
In other news, a small bird was chasing a grasshoper that landed near me for safety. The bird came right up to my foot and looked up at me with the stink eye. Like I was trying to steal its meal.
