9:21 a.m. - 2005-04-15
The Universe Sucks
Oh man.
This entry will be completely devoid of imagination or creativity. Much like the other entries. However, what you are about to read is a brief moment into my life where the Universe finds it necessary to balance itself out on me at every opportunity.
I was in a car accident about a month ago. I was going through a green light when a guy in the oncoming traffic decided to make a U turn, but did so before waiting until I was out of the intersection. I was more shaken than angry, as my car is a piece of golden shit and the only damage appeared to be a good sized dent above my back driver’s side tire, and some scratches down the length of the car.
It still ran fine, and that made everything okay.
I reported the accident and the insurance determined it was his entire fault. I dropped off my car to have it fixed, not because I cared, but because I would be able to drive a bitchin’ Pontiac Vibe for a week.
Bitchin’. So far, so good.
The insurance called me after a week and informed me the damage would cost $1700. I was flabbergasted to say the least. I was pretty sure my car wasn’t even worth that much.
Turns out, I was right. With the car valued at $1650, the insurance decided to total it. I was given the car back, told to get a salvage title and bring the copy to them, where they would then hand me over $1650. FREE MONEY BABY. They had no concern what I did with the money, whether or not I fixed it, or spent it on my crack addition.
They did tell me, however, that with a salvage title, I could not drive the car. So I gave the good old DMV a ring and they informed me that I could have the car inspected, to see that it was road worthy. Safe and all that jazz.
So I picked up my dented shit, drove it for two weeks, because the soonest appointment for an inspection would be that long.
Enter Universe.
Wednesday: I took the car to the DMV, left work at 2pm, hoping it would be enough time to get the salvage title, get the to the insurance company, and then get to the bank by 4pm. I had $11 to my name and some serious NSF fees if it didn’t happen that way. I got the salvage title, gave them $5 to get it, and hauled ass with my lousy $6 left over to the insurance company. I got my check, and made it to the bank at 3:47pm, all the while driving on gas fumes.
Suddenly, I was rich. RICH I TELL YOU. I could not have been happier. I had free money. The system was finally working in my favor!! Bwaaahaaahahahahahah!
All that remained was for me to go to my appointment on Thursday at 10:30am to get the car inspected so that I could get my original title back. Everything was on my side.
Enter Universe.
Thursday: So I made it to my appointment on time, again leaving work early, and sat and waited for an hour. Apparently the DMV’s idea of an appointment and my idea of an appointment are two totally separate things.
The guy walks over to me and asks me if I have my salvage title and my driver’s license. In a most condescending manner, I answer yes. I mean, what kind of a moron shows up to the DMV without those things?
Hi. My name is moron.
I gasped and nearly choked on my tongue when I saw that my driver’s license was in fact not in my purse, wallet or car. My mind suddenly flashed to the Circle K the day before where I would “save myself the trouble” of taking my wallet into the store with me and just carry my license in my back pocket. Cause you know. Wallets are SO heavy.
The poor DMV guy smiled and actually patted me on the back telling me to come back after I got it. I proceeded to race home, torn between cursing the whole way, and knowing there was a good reason for this, and got my wallet.
Maybe I avoided an accident. Who knows?
I get back to the DMV, wait another hour, and had my car inspected, which took a total of two minutes. I pay $50 for the pleasure of them telling me that the car is fine, I just have a dent. No. Shit.
I am then told that I have to go to the OTHER DMV on the OTHER side of town to get the car emissioned, and then I can get my title.
I race like a bat out of hell over there, planning all the while what I’m gonna go buy this weekend.
A block from the emissions building, my car breaks down. Fuel pump decided that life wasn’t worth it any longer.
I spent two hours waiting for a tow truck. And it was 92 degrees.
If you think you had a bad day, let’s trade. Anytime.
